Coexist
by dancechick307
Summary: She watches her little three-year-old Percy, in pure delight and, yet, a sadness still lingers. Sally Jackson, as she explores the wonder of feeling two polar opposite feelings at the same time. Winner of Oneshot Challenge: Week 2!


**Author's Note: **Hello, hello! Yes, you must be wondering what I am doing writing another one-shot when I have three series/stories I should be working on instead! Haha, I'm sorry! :P

Anyway, this idea came to me as I was wandering around my house. It was painfully quiet, since I was alone (my dad was working, my mom was taking my sister to soccer practice). I was happy for the silence, but kind of miserable because I was bored and our house seemed gloomy without it's regular commotion. And then I started thinking of how I had these two feelings at the same time...and then TA-DA! a new one-shot is born!

**Summary: **She watches her little three-year-old Percy, in pure delight and, yet, a sadness still lingers. Sally Jackson, as she explores the wonder of feeling two polar opposite feelings at the same time. Written for WindowChild's and ShadowPalace's one-shot contest, and I'm thrilled to say it that it won!

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**C**** o**** e ****x**** i ****s**** t **

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**_Coexist:_**[koh-ig-zist] _to exist together or separately, but peacefully_

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Sally Jackson used to think that feeling happy and sad at the same time was impossible.

How could these two emotions, these two that were exact polar opposites, coexist together? Sure, she'd seen people cry out of joy. Heck, she had done that herself countless times before. But to be truly sad and yet deeply happy at the same time? Impossible.

But, now, as she stares out onto the playground from a crooked old bench in the park and watches an adorable little boy with dark hair and eyes like the sea slip joyfully down the playground's slide, she is feeling just that. Happy and sad – at the same time.

It was such a confusing mood. Her heart felt so heavy and so full of joy and sweet bliss, and, yet, her chest hurt as thought there was a weight constantly dragging it down. It took everything, up to her last ounce of self-control, not to break down and cry right there in the middle of the park. And it took every last shred of her dignity not to run over to her baby and pick him up and obsess over the cute way his eyes shone when he smiled or the way his arms waved around when he was laughing or the tiny dimples in his cheeks that were only visible if you had the luxury of pressing up to him nose to nose.

So instead, she folded her hands on top of her lap and sat there trying to compose her facial expression into one of a subtle happiness, rather than reveal the storm of feelings bubbling inside her.

She watched silently as her son walked unsteadily around the playground, curious about every single thing, eager to get his little palms on everything. She'd smile as another mom would catch her eye, but for the most part Sally sat still, trying to understand how these two polar emotions had found a way to squeeze into her heart.

The happiness was an obvious feeling. All she needed to do was watch her baby laugh as the swings carried him high into the sky or as the wind tousled his luscious dark hair or as his eyes sparked with curiosity while watching the bigger kids climb across the monkey bars and then Sally would feel a wave of sweet bliss wash over her. Watching her son, grow up so quickly and so beautifully in front of her own eyes and knowing that she got to experience it all was reason enough to be overwhelmingly happy. He was, after all, her very first child and that brought all the wonders and delights of being a new mom.

But the sadness, the sadness was a feeling triggered by something that she was too afraid to say out loud. It hurt to even think about it. The reason behind this feeling was something that brought back old memories and pieces of her life that would from now on belong in the past, if only because they hurt too much.

It hurt to think about her being young and naïve and in love with someone that would never truly be hers. It hurt to think about how quickly – how _easily _- he had left her world without a trace, without a thought. He cared – that was not something she doubted. It was just the way things were and the way things worked simply that would not allow these two rare lovers to be united for too long. And that was a bitter thought; one that sent an ache through her chest.

But things get complicated here. For amongst these gloomy thoughts about a love that could never be, she reminds herself that if she had never met him, then she would have never have the beautiful, healthy boy playing in front of her right now.

So there is happy mixed with sad, and there is that confusion again of feeling two strong feelings at the same time.

And now her head hurts and as does her heart.

Maybe some things are better left to be ignored. Maybe there _is_ a time when it is better to be ignorant! Yes, she will ignore all the facts and the reality that her son is part of something bigger than the both of them combined. Yes, she'll forget about whatever dangers he might be in as he grows older all because his father happens to be a very _special _man. Yes, she will simply –

Sally bites down on her lip, swallows a growing lump in her throat, and silently curses at herself.

No. She cannot just _ignore_ it. She cannot simply be _ignorant _about the reality that will soon take over her son's life.

And just like that it becomes hard to breathe. Her heart – every beat it takes – seems so loud and menacing. Sally closes her eyes and counts to ten backwards in her head. She must learn to deal with this. She _will_ learn to deal with this. For herself, because reality will strike whether she wants it to or not. For him, who she had loved and still loves and who, undoubtedly, makes up half the DNA running in her baby.

And most importantly, for her son, her baby, her little boy, _Percy._ Because he deserves to have someone in his life that will reassure him and comfort him, and, simply, someone who will always love him.

Little Percy suddenly pokes his head from through the metal bars of the big, colorful play set located in the middle of the playground. When he spots his mother, his whole face lights up as he gives her an excited wave.

And Sally has suddenly made up her mind. She knows now, at this very moment, that when the time comes, she will let Percy go. She will watch him make his way through horrific adventures, watch him as he learns about his heritage, and watch him learn the correct way to use a sword. She'll watch silently, and slowly learn to let go, bit by bit, so that he can turn into a hero, the hero everyone expects him to be. She will watch as he gets whisked away to camp every summer, as his worries grow from passing the fifth grade to simply living to see tomorrow. And through it all, she will be on the sidelines, waiting for him to come home.

But, in the meantime, she will hold onto her little boy, protect him, and love him dearly until his time comes. She will take him to the park and teach him the alphabet and fill his Christmas stocking with candy and read him bedtime stories. She'll help him with his math homework, teach him how to _attempt _to tame his unruly hair, and give him advice when he develops his first crush.

She will love him unconditionally through it all. Through protecting him from any danger that threatens him and through, one day, watching him protect himself.

And as Sally lifts her hand in the air and gives Percy a little wave back, she lets go of trying to fight the two emotions, the happy and the sad, that take place inside her. Instead, she lets them exist somehow, remarkably together. She allows her heart to be swallowed up in the bittersweet truth of her life and her son's.

Sally Jackson is probably one of the only people on this world to know what it feels like to be truly happy and blissful and joyous and, yet, to be heartbroken and deeply sad and gloomy at the same time.

And she knows by experience that it is quite an indescribable feeling.

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**Author's Note: **I hope you liked it! I'm kind of afraid it might have confused people a bit...So let me know if you got lost or followed along perfectly well! Thanks so much for reading, and please review. Reviews are very appreciated!

Thanks!

~dancechick307~


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